THE DIFFERENCE IS ALSO THE LINK

As we move further into this year I am constantly encountering circumstances that convince me that 'the walls are coming down'. It is as if the Lord is at work making a beautiful garment for His Bride.
I am reminded that the garment Jesus wore was seamless, and it seems to me that He is weaving something seamless and wonderful now for the Bride, and it is truly the work of His hands.

Sometimes it feels as if He is saying to us that He let us do the best we could, and now He is showing us the best He can do for us.
Walls are coming down - denominational, cultural, traditional, gender, age - all these things are being redefined and we are being challenged as to where we stand and how we view one another.

This past week I had the privilege of praying at an event where people of many different races, traditions, and lifestyles were gathered. I stood looking out over a gathering of some 10,000 people, all shapes, sizes, colours, and ages. Some were walking with Jesus, and many did not know anything about Him.
I found myself weeping before the Lord for my brothers and sisters, the ones He had created that did not yet know Him, the ones who belong in this family and are missing from it.

I felt so at one with all who were there, and the only difference between them and me was Jesus, who in an instant of time could become the link between us if we would allow it.

Many in the crowd had lived lifestyles different to mine because they had been born into different families and circumstances, but we all have the same creator, and if we will acknowledge Him, the very same Father.

This beautiful seamless garment He is weaving in our time is put together when the difference becomes the link - when Jesus enters into a heart, and the child becomes part of an amazing family, no longer lonely, no longer lost, no longer without hope, but now joined together with all who have the same hope - Christ IN us, the hope of glory, the promise of eternity, the link that makes this family strong.

WATCH FOR THE BIRDS!

Today I believe the Lord is admonishing His people to STAY WITH THE SACRIFICE.
I believe the Lord is speaking to many of His people in the place of waiting today.
Many have walked in obedience and done what He asked of them, but have not yet seen the fruit of that labour.
He gave me revelation out of the story about Abraham that is wonderful instruction for us in this hour.

Genesis 15:8
Abram asked God how he could know that he would gain possession of the land God had spoken to him about.
HE WANTED TO KNOW HOW HE COULD REALLY KNOW WHAT THE LORD WAS SAYING WAS TRUE.
The Lord’s response in v.9 is that He asks Abram to bring him "a heifer, a goat, and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon."
IT WAS GOING TO COST ABRAM SOMETHING, THERE WAS WORK TO BE DONE FOR THE LORD.

Abram brought all these to the Lord, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds however he did not cut in half.
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN MESSY, BLOODY, HARD WORK.

THEN the birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away!
THERE IS A STRONG MESSAGE HERE FOR GOD’S PEOPLE.
Many have given an offering or sacrifice to the Lord in answer to His call. Many have laboured long and hard in obedience to lay something out before the Lord.

WE NEED TO KNOW THAT THE BIRDS OF PREY WILL COME.
There will be actions and words that seem to totally negate all that we have done, that seem to cut right across it or act as if it was never done at all. The enemy will mock our efforts, our vision, our obedience.

BUT ABRAM DROVE THEM AWAY.
We must look for what is of God and God alone. He encourages, strengthens, guides, comforts, and loves us!

As the sun was setting (at the END OF THE DAY) Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him.
THEN the Lord said to him:
"Know for certain …" God began to assure Abram of his future and of his plans for future generations. Vv13-16.
When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed
between the pieces.
ON THAT DAY the Lord made a COVENANT with Abram about the land He was giving to him.

Today many are waiting on the Lord for the fulfillment and confirmation of visions and calls. There is much here to learn and note:

The Lord came to Abram in a DARK CLOUD (not in the way he would perhaps have expected).
The Lord spoke and explained HIS PROCESS.
The Lord spoke of RESTORATION in the 4th generation – He is long-term in his thinking!
The Lord promised Abram PEACE.
The Lord ACCEPTED HIS SACRIFICE.
The Lord made a COVENANT PROMISE.

THEN is a wonderful word when we come across it in the scriptures … there is always more to come!
I truly believe the Lord would encourage us to hold on in this day. To keep watch over what has been done in His Name and at His bidding. Drive off discouragement and negativity. Hold on for that moment when God will come and accept and bless what has been laid out for Him.

2007: REMAIN - ABIDE - STAND - BEAR FRUIT

POWERED AHEAD BY HIS SPIRIT!

There are four outstanding instructions for the year ahead.

REMAIN (John 15:4)
"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

ABIDE (Psalm 91 all, but especially verses 1 & 2)
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

STAND (Matthew 24:12&13)
"Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."

BEAR FRUIT (John 15:2)
"He cuts of every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

REMAIN

In this season the Lord is calling us to understand what it means to "remain in Him" under all circumstances.
Some have, or will, suffer loss as part of the coming change. Remain in Him, and out of the loss will come fruitfulness.

Learning to "remain" helps us to be positioned to be fruitful. The Lord gave a wonderful illustration of what happens to a blossom before it bears fruit as He showed me the importance of this:

- The beautiful blossom is invaded by insects and bees, pecked at by birds.
- Its beautiful petals fall to the ground and die.
HOWEVER, it remains attached to the branch in order to obtain nutrients to grow into fruit.

Learn to remain in Him regardless of circumstances and feelings - He is THE BRANCH to which we are to remain attached.

ABIDE

There is fresh anointing to understand and take hold of the completeness and sustaining power of this Psalm.
He is calling us to find our rest in Him CONSTANTLY. We are to abide in Him, under His wings and in His great shadow, and He will prove our faithful refuge and fortress.
Even as the battle rages around us, and it surely will, "it will not come near you."

This is a season when He will give us true understanding that 'the weapons of our warfare are not carnal' and will teach us how to fight the good fight out of His strength and presence. This can only take place as we learn not to be drawn to the battle but to take our place in Him & be led by His Spirit. This is a place of great strength rather than passivity.

Picture:
I see the sharp bow of a boat that is moving strongly forward. It is not carried by the sea or driving by a man-made engine, but is encapsulated in God's power which clears the way in front and at the sides, and powerfully, but smoothly, thrusts forward. He is completely behind the boat - the source of this great power. He is both the beginning and the destination and the vessel is held COMPLETELY in Him. This is an amazing picture of the completeness of Psalm 91!

STAND

In the coming season we will be called to STAND, having done all else, we will need to know how to find our place in Him and to STAND, REMAIN, ABIDE in it. Surely the winds will blow and the storms will come, and we are called to position ourselves on our Rock and STAND firm for as long as it takes!

It is faith that enable us to stand firm - faith in the One who is the answer and who contends on our behalf. Faith that our God is big enough and is truly Who He says He is!

BEAR FRUIT

The Lord gave me a vision that was an indicator of great fruitfulness to come for those who will allow His Spirit to produce an increase of His Presence and Compassion in their lives. The fruit grows within the individual before it is evident to those who require it.
IT IS THE EXTERNAL EVIDENCE OF INTERNAL GROWTH that comes not by might or power but by the Spirit of God.

Vision:

In a recent vision I saw a lake of fire. It looked like a forest fire burning at a low level. The flames were not leaping high but were constant and the wind was constantly blowing on them keeping them at an intense heat. The flames were fueled by the substance they were burning on which seemed like thick oil.

Matthew 3:12 came to mind : “His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire”.

Again came the cry: “Lord have mercy”.

I saw the fire being held back. There was a wall that it could not break through. There had been something built up that held back the fire.

I could hear only one word : “HOLINESS”.
With this word came the understanding that as the people of God pursue holiness, it is as if they are all turned with their backs to the fire, and they become the wall that holds the fire back.

I saw that the pursuit of holiness allows the RIVER OF GOD to flow, it keeps His people cool and flows over those around them, a cooling, healing stream.

I saw that the people of God had become TREES OF RIGHTEOUSNESS and were beginning to release life and healing to those around them, and especially to those who were huddled together terrified of the fire. (Psalm 92:12-15)

I saw the LOST. They were no longer ignorant, but were afraid as they saw the fire approaching and they also saw those who stood between them and the fire.
THEIR EYES HAD BEEN OPENED TO THEIR CONDITION AND THEIR DANGER.

I saw the RIVER before my feet, it was clear and there were a few small fish swimming in it, but as I looked upstream I saw more, and larger, fish coming.

I saw God’s people STANDING in this place, and those in need coming and picking the fruit of these lives and putting it into their mouths – they were HELPING THEMSELVES to what the Lord had produced.
THE HARVEST HAD BEGUN.

In the year ahead fruit will ripen and be evident, some of this has been forming for decades.
While there is still time, press into the Lord, submit to His process and work, be willing to be refined and positioned for the days that are ahead.

I see huge trees laden with ripe fruit that will begin to fall.
Will the fruit be eaten by the hungry and the lost?
Will it be lost, trampled under foot or left to rot on the ground?
Will it be recognized at all by those who have not desired eyes to see?

May Jesus not find us as He did the fig tree, looking beautiful, but all leaves and no fruit!
He will come looking for His share of the crop at harvest time (Matthew 21:41) and may He not say to us as He did to a previous people and generation:
"Therefore I tell you that the Kingdom of Heaven will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit."

Many were invited to the wedding banquet who did not come, and even some of those who came were thrown out for they had not taken the trouble to come properly dressed for the event. Some missed it altogether for they had not obtained sufficient oil for their lamps.

PURSUIT OF THE BRIDE

The Lord is coming again to His Bride, wooing her with passion and gentle strength. In this hour He is looking for real commitment, covenant commitment, there will be no turning back.

(Dream 23.12.06)
As I stood talking to someone a young man came and stood alongside of me, taking my left hand in his right hand, giving me a great sense of strength and security.
I moved off to do something else, and then as I came back to where he was, he knelt down, took my hand, and asked me if I would become his wife.
He presented me with a tray of beautiful diamond rings set in white gold that I might to chose one. He had made all of these rings himself.
I was hesitant wondering if I knew him well enough to marry him, yet he had no doubt at all that this was right and would take place.
The young man looked like an adult version of someone who had been my 'first love' at maybe 10 years of age!

This dream is very self-explanatory, but the intensity of activity and feeling in it suggest that the Lord is speaking not just to me but to His Body.
Our first love is coming to us again, and asking us for real commitment to Him forever.

There is great symbolism in this dream:
Right hand – he held my hand with his right hand – the hand of blessing.
Standing beside me – indicates uprightness, holding ground, holding position.
Marriage – “Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb.1” (Rev. 19:9)
White Gold – Gold tried in the fire – producing faith and divine nature.
Diamonds – Precious saints.

He is coming to call His precious saints to a wedding.
He stands in uprightness beside them, giving to them His hand of blessing.
He is offering eternal gifts of faith and His divine nature.
He has no doubt about who He has chosen, even though we may feel uncertain or unworthy of this honour.

This is VERY SIGNIFICANT and VERY PRECIOUS like the beautiful ring that was being offered.


PREPARATION FOR CHANGE

The Body of Christ has been given many opportunities/circumstances to enable them to become flexible and prepare for change.
Those who have learnt from these events will find transition easier than those who have fought them.

Even now, pray for flexibility of the Spirit, eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to know the ways of the Lord.

Pray for the spirit that was on the sons of Issachar (1 Chron. 12:32) who had understanding of the times, and knew what Israel should do.
These are men who truly had, eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to know the ways of the Lord.

FOOD - THE CHURCH - & THE FIG TREE

DREAM of FOOD & THE CHURCH (21.12.06)

Very busy, detail-filled dream.
I had invited someone I hadn’t seen in a while to visit and expected them to come with 2 or 3 friends. Instead, the person turned up with 60-70 laid-back, apathetic, noisy friends.
I was frantically trying to put together for them all, and time was passing rapidly – there was intense pressure.
My husband was in the kitchen helping to put together pizza type food on bread bases, we decided to serve it without heating as there was no time for this process.
My daughter suggested getting buns and letting people put it together themselves, but there was no time, and the people were not organized enough to be capable of doing this.
Lunch was late – about 3 p.m. in the afternoon.
I sat down at a table to eat with two city church leaders and the discussion turned to the church.
I asked both men “How do you define ‘church’?”
The first man gave an intellectual answer, using very lofty words that I couldn’t make sense of. He appeared to be answering on behalf of both, but I pressed the second man for an answer. At this the first man got up and left.
The second man grew increasingly uncomfortable, and said “I have to get out of here.” He left, tearing off his shirt and throwing it away as he left.

Are we ready for what is ahead in 2007? The pressure of time and numbers was so intense that we need to have food ready as there will be no time to prepare it. The time is late, and the Lord is wanting to give His servants food to have ready for the many who will come.
He IS going to re-define church, and those who hold to current understanding and mind-sets will become greatly disconcerted, even angry, at what they are presented with.

Right after the above dream I found myself reading the following:

Matt. 21:18-21 The fig tree.
Jesus had opened blind eyes, fulfilled prophecy by riding into Jerusalem as the king ‘ gentle and riding on a donkey, cleansed the temple of ‘buyers and sellers’, and again healed the blind and lame. The religious establishment were ‘indignant’!!
Now as he comes to the fig tree, it is covered in leaves – looking good – and yet he is disappointed that it bears no fruit, to the degree that he cursed the tree and it withered up.

Some rhetorical questions:
Is this what He found in Israel – something that had learnt to survive well and even look good, had enough to live on and get by, but had not borne any fruit?
Is He perhaps speaking to her?
Is this a picture of what He looks for in us – more than the ability to have found life in Him and sustain it – a desire and ability to bear fruit out of this life He has given us?
Is this a picture of the church today – looks good, but having no fruit, therefore no seeds, no ability to reproduce?
It is interesting that the fig leaves were what Adam and Eve chose to cover their shame.

Do we have anything to give to those who come looking – is there fruitfulness, something to eat in the church?

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (Dream - 23.12.06)

Once again at the end of a dream populated with huge activity and large numbers of people a clear picture and situation emerged.
A young man had been hovering in the background of all the activities, and then as I stood talking to someone he came and stood alongside of me, taking my left hand in his right hand.
I moved off to do something else, and then as I came back to where he was, he knelt down, took my hand, and asked me if I would become his wife.
He presented me with a tray of beautiful diamond rings set in white gold that I might to chose one. He had made all of these rings himself.
I was hesitant wondering if I knew him well enough to marry him, yet he had no doubt at all that this was right and would take place.
I had recognized the young man as someone who had been my ‘first love’ when I was 10 or 11 years old.

This dream is very self-explanatory, but the intensity of activity and feeling in it suggest that the Lord is speaking not just to me but to His Body.
Our first love is coming to us again, and asking us for real commitment to Him forever.

There is great symbolism in this dream:
Right hand – he held my hand with his right hand – the hand of blessing.
Standing beside me – indicates uprightness, holding ground, holding position.
Marriage – “Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb.1” (Rev. 19:9)
White Gold – Gold tried in the fire – producing faith and divine nature.
Diamond – Precious saints.

He is coming to call His precious saints to a wedding.
He stands in uprightness beside them, giving to them His hand of blessing.
He is offering eternal gifts of faith and His divine nature.
He has no doubt about who He has chosen, even though we may feel uncertain or unworthy of this honour.

This is VERY SIGNIFICANT and VERY PRECIOUS like the beautiful ring that was being offered.

WEEDS AND ANGELS

I'm making my way SLOWLY through Matthew at present, slowly being the operative word as the Lord seems to be opening stuff up on almost every verse. So, in Chapters 11 and 12 I have been looking in a new way at the characteristics of Jesus as they should show in our lives. (Will do a separate blog on that one!)

THEN I came to Chapter 13 and had some serious thoughts about the “WEED PULLERS". I don’t feel we were called to point fingers all the time, and some of it is really throwing the baby out with the bathwater! I wondered why I felt so strongly.

THEN in Matt. 13 I am reminded once again that the ANGELS are the ones who will pull up the weeds THEN bring the wheat into the barn. It kind of ties into the threshing floor stuff, the coming to where the Lord does the winnowing, and sorts the chaff from the wheat. If the original temple was built on the threshing floor maybe we, as the temple in which His Spirit resides, will be built on a process of sifting and refining on that same floor?

The harvest is the end of the age and the harvesters are angels. I wonder why we are having so much angelic visitation right now? Should we be pleased or scared that they are showing up in great numbers?

THEN the righteous will shine like the sun (glory?) in the Kingdom of their Father.
….the ANGELS will come and separate the wicked from the righteous.

Is it possible the angels are showing up as harvesters and looking for the unrighteous weeds to be pulled up now – if so perhaps we should leave the work to them!?

I love it that the seeds of the Kingdom look small and insignificant, but their increase and growth is supernaturally large because they are planted by the Lord (mustard seeds to trees). Heaven forbid that we should pull up one of these sprouting seeds because it doesnt look right or strong to us. The Son of Man is the seed sower, and only He knows what kind of plant and fruit He expects to see!

Matt.13:52 says
THEREFORE every teacher of the law who has been instructed about the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom NEW TREASURES as well as old.

I feel that in this time we need to know which work is ours and which belongs to the angels ONLY – for our own growth and good. My work is to reflect Jesus, to grow up in all things to look as much like Him as it is humanly possible to do with the help of His Spirit, and have sufficient faith and trust in Him to allow Him to do this same work with my brothers and sisters, praying for them, praying far more than saying anything about the apparent shortcomings of others in His family.

This is all kind of thought provoking isnt' it?

VISION : Wheat Chaff & Fire

In this vision I was sitting on the threshing floor (a place the Lord has been calling me to regularly in the last few weeks).
The pressing cry that came three times was: “Let the chaff go and the wheat remain”, and then straight after that: “Lord have mercy”.
There was a desperation in me that He would blow away the chaff in my own life.
Immediately the question came: “If I blow away the chaff, where will it go?”

I then saw a lake of fire. It looked like a forest fire burning at a low level. The flames were not leaping high but were constant and the wind was constantly blowing on them keeping them at an intense heat. The flames were fueled by the substance they were burning on which seemed like thick oil.

Matthew 3:12 came to mind : “His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire”.

Again came the cry: “Lord have mercy”.

Now I saw the fire being held back. There was a wall that it could not break through. There had been something built up that held back the fire.

I could hear only one word : “HOLINESS”.

With this word came the understanding that as the people of God pursue holiness, it is as if they are all turned with their backs to the fire, and they become the wall that holds the fire back.

I saw that the pursuit of holiness allows the RIVER OF GOD to flow, it keeps His people cool and flows over those around them, a cooling, healing stream.

I saw that the people of God had become TREES OF RIGHTEOUSNESS and were beginning to release life and healing to those around them, and especially to those who were huddled together terrified of the fire.

I saw the LOST. They were no longer ignorant, but were afraid as they saw the fire approaching and also saw those who stood between them and the fire.
THEIR EYES HAD BEEN OPENED TO THEIR CONDITION AND THEIR DANGER.

I saw the RIVER before my feet, it was clear and there were a few small fish swimming in it, but as I looked upstream I saw more, and larger, fish coming.

I saw God’s people STANDING in this place, and those in need coming and picking the fruit of these lives and putting it into their mouths – they were HELPING THEMSELVES to what the Lord had produced.

THE HARVEST HAD BEGUN.

The scriptures that came to mind as I was looking at this were:
Jeremiah 17:7 & 8
Romans 8
Galatians 5-16 – 6:10
Revelation 22

I was aware of the manifestation of the sons and daughters of God, those who chose to walk by His Spirit and turn their backs on the things of this world that kept their souls comfortable.
I was aware that the pursuit of holiness is not the pointing out of the faults of others, but individually coming to the threshing floor and falling on our faces, asking Him to have mercy and remove the chaff from our lives.

We turn towards You, Father, make us Your own sons and daughters in this time. Help us to stand as Your trees with our roots in Your Word, watered by the river of Your Life, always bearing fruit.
We put our trust and confidence in You alone.

WAIT ... THERE IS MORE!

Do not lay down your tools or weapons in this time.
Many have become weary in waiting, and there are those who feel all usefulness is over.
Hearts have lost their fire, and the light of eyes has been dimmed.

He who came to baptize with the Holy Spirit and with fire is about to pour out again.
Search out the oil for your lamps.

Pray that He will strengthen you in this time.
Do not turn away, do not turn aside, but once again STAND as you have been called to do.
We are called, having done all else, to STAND.

Hold your ground for help is coming.
You will know reinforcement and new strength if you will choose to STAND.

I hear again the words of Joshua 1:6-9, especially v.9
“Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

This is a day of great winds blowing in the heavenlies,
A day of battle, and a day of victory.
The victory has ALREADY BEEN WON, so STAND.

HEAVENLINESS - A DEFENCE SYSTEM OF A NATION

HEAVENLINESS - A DEFENCE SYSTEM OF A NATION

T. Austin-Sparks

Heavenliness is a tremendous factor in the life of the Lord’s people. Heavenliness, which is spirituality, which is ascendancy, or elevation, and which is faith, is a tremendous factor. All that is gathered up in the concept of the heavenly city, Jerusalem. It means being on other ground than on the ground of this world, on the ground of the natural man. Oh, that the Church had maintained that position all the way through! What terrible tragedy have resulted from coming down to lower ground.

We will give an illustration of the tragedy of coming down from a heavenly position on the part of the Church. I found this written by Sir George Adam Smith. Speaking of the Moslem invasion of Syria, by which Syria and Israel became swept and dominated by Islam, he writes:”The Christianity of Syria fell before Islam because it was corrupt, and it deserved to fall”. And again: ”In an attempt by purely human means to regain her birthplace, the Church was beaten back by Islam because she was selfish and worldly.”

”In neither of these cases was it a true Christianity that was overthrown, though the true Church bears to this day the reproach, and the burden of the results. The irony of the Divine judgment is clearly seen in this, that it was on the very land where a spiritual monotheism first appeared that the Church was first punished for idolatry and materialism; that it was in sight of the scenes where Christ taught and healed, and went about doing good with his band of pure devoted disciples, that the envious, treacherous, truculent hosts of the Cross were put to sword and fire.They who in His name sought a kingdom of this world by worldly means could not hope to succeed on the very fields where He had put such a temptation from Him. The victory of Islam over Christendom is no more a problem then the victory of Babylon over Israel.”

That is a tremendous statement. What history there is in a statement like that! Perhaps the greatest problem today of Christianity, of the mission field, is Islam. I do not think there is a greater problem than Islam for the Church. Why? Well, Sir George Adam Smith puts his finger right on the cause when he says the power of Islam is due to the corruption of the Church at a given point in history; divided, selfish and worldly. Islam gained mastery because of that.How, then, would Islam be overthrown ? How would the mischief be undone? Surely by a heavenly Church, by that which has been wholly separated from this world in all means and methods, and united in one spirit as a great spiritual force, under the government of the Holy Spirit. That, and that alone, will overthrow the forces which have gained their position by reason of the unspirituality and unheavenliness of the Church.

If that applies to the whole, it applies to us individually, that spiritual power over any ground of the enemy demands detachment spiritually from the world, a close walk with God, and a heavenly life, a life which is above with Christ. The Lord lay upon our hearts the tremendous importance of this heavenly fellowship with Him from day to day, for the sake of spiritual power.

T. Austin-SparksFrom ”The City which hath Foundations”

HELD BY TRUTH

As spring endeavours to break forth through the wind, rain and hail of these past few days I am reminded that it is very similar as we move through the seasons of our own lives that repeat time and time again. Only THE TRUTH can hold us steady as we are buffetted by life, and as I read something from the journals of Thomas Merton today it resonated in my spirit.

Thomas Merton, a modern day Trappist monk, writes of following the rules of St. Benedict who

founded the Order (they are: obedience, humility, work, prayer, simplicity, the love of Christ) and goes on to say:

"The light of truth burns without a flicker in the depths of a house shaken with storms of passion and fear. "You will not fear the terror of the night." And so I go on trying to walk on the waters of the breakdown. Worse than ever before and better than ever before. It is always painful and reassuring when he who I am is not visibly destroyed by the hand of God in order that the depths of me, which is His image, may be set free to serve Him in peace.
Sometimes in the midst of this I am tremendously happy, and I have never in my life been so grateful for His mercy. And no more professional spirituality! Terrifically purged of ideas about prayer, and of all desire to preach them, as if I had something!"

How amazingly he writes of these struggles, and it is always good to find another soul walking on the same road! We speak and pray about being broken as if it were some kind of beautiful spiritual experience, but then we find that it is the flesh that breaks down, very painfully and noisily, and in that place only that which has been formed and forged by God holds us.

How powerful are HIs great hands, and how amazing is His tender love and speaking in this desert place. He gently repairs and restores what He created and here we come ... up from the wilderness leaning on our Beloved.