DESERT

"The desert was created simply to be itself, not to be transformed by men into something else.  So too the mountain and the sea.  The desert is therefore the logical dwelling place for the man who seeks to be nothing but himself - that is to say a creature solitary and poor and dependent upon no-one but God, with no great project standing between himself and his Creator...............So the man who wanders into the desert to be himself must take care he does not go mad and become the servant of the one who dwells there in a sterile paradise of emptiness and rage."  Thomas Merton "Thoughts in Solitude".

I awoke this morning thinking about the desert and the place I've lived with You Lord these past 10 years or so (it honestly doesn't seem that long!).  Lately I've really questioned why my heart and head constantly seek for spaces of quietness and rest - it is 'holiday' in my head, but really You in my heart.  The question has been 'have I gone mad or begun to serve a different master?'

Today I feel encouraged that to save me from both those things, You have given me the work of serving and loving the poor and oppressed.  You have blessed me with them, they have been my help and salvation in this desert place and You intended it all along.

A light just went on in a place that was growing dim!  Maybe I've now learned one of the lessons You intended me to?

Now I will let my heart go wandering in the desert with You, and learn to lean on You in new ways, and my head will cease to be troubled by the desire to do so.  Thank You.

"This then is our desert  to live facing despair, but not to consent.  To trample it down under hope in the Cross.  To wage war against despair unceasingly.  That war is our wilderness.  If we wage it courageously, we will find Christ at our side.  If we cannot face it, we will never find Him". T.M.