This has been a strange day! What does the Day of Atonement mean in a country where there are fewer boundaries by the day, men are their own gods, and everything is relative? You dont have to repent of anything if everything is ok if it feels ok! I begin to understand why the Desert Fathers left the combination of church and politics, and the various philosophies of this world behind and headed out to live alone in the wilderness.
Even as I write this, I know that it also takes a different kind of maturity and understanding to live without all of the above - all that we would leave behind - because we have not yet learned to live completely without them. Long term they have influenced society and thinking, but in the short term there was probably just solitude, sand, and a whole lot of struggles!
What does it mean to completely live a life in Jesus Christ, totally led by the Holy Spirit, working it out in our day to day existence. How can this be done? Today I tried to spend time just contemplating the nature of this day and all it means between me and God, and really came to the end feeling like I didnt get very far at all - imagine a lifetime of such days, such struggling and grappling with ourselves, to make a meaning out of so little.
So, tomorrow is new, and everything in it, and I intend to make the most of that. Tomorrow I will meet with Him again, and reach into the depths of His wonderful heart of love, forgiveness, tenderness and compassion for me - the one who didnt do so well yesterday - and I will walk on with my hand in His. He will hold me when I would let go. He will keep walking when I would fall down. He will bring me water to drink when I find the desert too dry to bear. He will continue to be my all in all, my everything.
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