TRULY LIVING

As we look at all that's taking place around the world right now it becomes more apparent each day that we need to know who we truly are, and how we will live and maintain our peace in the face of what we see!

Sometimes I think we forget that although we are born of our natural parents, by God's intention and design, this natural birth is wrapped in something far bigger and wider in it's reality.  To recognise and engage with the author and designer of our lives is to move outside of our limited understanding and into the path of the One who lovingly works to be connected to those He created. We are able to enjoy the benefits of His tireless watch over His children, and His leading into things that are eternal rather than simply contained in the here and now.

We move beyond our natural birth into a new kind of life, one that gives us new eyes to see, ears to hear with, and hearts able to understand the love and wonder of a life filled with far greater promise than we had ever imagined. 

In this process we begin to find the self we were truly created to be, leaving behind the false self - an image woven by our desire to obtain the approval and acclaim of men and women whose expectations and demands weigh heavily upon us.  We move beyond the ideas and expectations that are human and limited.

This deeper walk with God takes us deeper into who He truly created us to be, not what we think, but what He actually knows and has always known.  The search for this takes His children down many paths, most of which are dead ends, and some stop there.  However, there is a need to keep walking and when we find ourselves gazing at a wall it's time to turn and look around for Him again.

The depths of this search can feel dark and lonely to our souls, but our spirits are being constantly and steadily awakened to this great light that shines in the darkness.  Jesus said "I am the light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life."  It was God's idea to let light shine out of darkness and increasingly lets this light shine in our hearts.

Jesus was the invisible made visible, and so his face was displayed in the earth for all to see.  Now that same light is reflected in our hearts and He continues to shine in the darkness when we walk in the birth of the person we were truly created to be.

This world we live in needs more and more light shining against the darkness that pours out violence, hatred and disorder around us.  Jesus said "You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men ...."

The end result of becoming our true selves, willing to be lights that shine in dark places, is an increase in us and in those places of love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

It's my desire to shed the dark garments of my false self so that more light is evident.  To walk into the great promise that the plans God has for me are for good and not evil, to prosper and not harm me, to give me a future and a hope.  Those are the things so many seek not knowing that they are only found fully in being the true selves God created.

We thought we were born of our natural parents alone, but there was always this higher, wider, greater, thing going on.

2011

Here are a few gleanings from waiting and listening at the end of one year and as we move into a new one.  May each of you who read this blog be held in God's plan and purpose for you through this year, and know that all He has in His heart for you is GOOD.

On the morning of December 28, 2010 I woke up with the words of Matthew 5:16 on my mind:

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

There is such a strong sense of our need to step out of the shadows and become fully what God created each of us to be.  As we live this out it brings great glory to Him.  It is true humility to embrace and live all that He desires for us, for then we are living in the Truth.

I continue to be aware of a great pathway of heavenly love and power  between heaven and earth.  It is open, but requires utter truth in the innermost parts of those who walk it.  Was this Enoch's path I wonder?

Again on 30 December I saw this same heavenly connection between God and those who will walk fully in His Truth.  It is like a highway of great substance that stands out from everything else around it and makes all else appear to have no substance at all.  It flows out of heaven and spreads out as it goes.  Moving on it towards God would be like moving upstream against the currents of the world's flow - not easy, but worth more than anything else in life.

Psalm 46:4 came to mind as I looked at this flow:

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

The whole of Psalm 46 seems important to hold in our hearts as we move into what is ahead.

oo0oo

During the night of December 28, 2010 I had a very vivid dream.  In it I was with the group of young adults in a gymnasium somewhere in the USA.  They were all in very serious training, running, exercising, doing press ups.  At the same time, some of their group had been caught up in a huge tornado-type storm and I could see them being hurled around in the midst of this as it carried them along.  One young man was very apparent and seemed to have been sucked into the very centre of the storm which was full of lightning and thunder.  At the end of the dream this young man appeared, he seemed to be the only survivor and was very battered but recovering.  It was evident that the experience had made him fit for leadership and all the others now looked to him for wise direction.

oo0oo

Twice I have been lead into 2 Chronicles 34.  King Josiah, young as he was, did well in returning Israel to the Lord - the thing that caused the greatest change was finding the book of the Law that God had given to Moses, and in reading discovered how far they had strayed from God's instructions to them.  I believe again God is calling us to pursue His Truth and His Word and use this as the plumline to evaluate our lives. In spite of all the good he had done, Josiah eventually died because he was carried by his zeal to fight a battle that the Lord was clearly telling him not to fight - our greatest strength can also be our weakness, and this needs to be watched as carefully at the end as at the beginning of our life and work.

oo0oo

Ezra 3:10 - The rebuilding of the altar.  When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the Lord, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the Lord, as prescribed by David king of Israel.

There are many who have been faithfully following a path they truly believe the Lord had led them to.  They have at times wondered if they heard Him right, especially as they can see so few, or no, results.  I feel that the Lord has indeed been building, against great opposition, as was the case in the time of Ezra.  The word I hear Him using is that He has established BEACHHEADS and in 2011 the result of those being established will be seen and will be cause for rejoicing - it will be an indicator that He is truly building HIS House, and there will be fruitfulness from what has been sown.

These results will be seen especially by those who have been willing to leave the froth and bubble of the shoreline and have the courage to move out into the deep oceans of His presence.  Now He will begin to draw on what has been deposited and resides deep within their souls and spirits.  They are deep wells and many are thirsty.  There have been those in the church who were not willing, or have not had the courage to move into these deeper waters, but the courageous are those who have been used to establish the beachheads the Lord desires in this time.

oo0oo

I believe that for the year ahead the Lord is encouraging us through Ephesians 6 to 'stand firm'.  He will continue to be true to His word in Amos 3:7 that He does nothing without revealing it to his prophets - listen for His voice.  In John 15:4, He is reminding us that we must remain in Him, and He in us, if we are to see fruit.  Finally in Revelation 20:2-10, He is reminding us of His total victory over the enemy.

We must never forget that God spoke EVERYTHING into being, and He never ceases to be God.

Shalom in 2011.

A THOUGHT THAT RESOUNDS

Currently I am reading Thomas Merton's "New Seeds of Contemplation" and recently was left speechless by one very short sentence!

"God utters me like a word containing a partial thought of Himself."

The ramifications of this thought keep running around in me.   Like a stone thrown into a pool these words keep sending out ripples of thought that are a constant delight and challenge.

There is first of all a wonderful picture of God opening His mouth and breathing out a word/name that contains enough of His being to go out and become everything that is in His heart and mind as He speaks.  Carried by His breath, this Word from God goes on and on until all that He had in mind has come to pass!  We know His Word does not return to Him void.  What a glorious picture of the Creator and His creation joined by His breath - who or what can mess with that kind of creative power, or with the man or woman who has come to understand the incredible way they have been made.

Then I begin to think of this in terms of all men and women, all of creation, everything that has been created has been created by God.  Once again it has wide reaching ramifications for you and I and how we relate to absolutely everything around us, especially people.  How could we ignore, mistreat or harm - it is like shaking a fist in the face of God and telling Him what He makes is no good!  It also releases us into a greater joy in knowing that He can be seen and found in everyone, even if His presence is not obvious at first glance.  If they're breathing then He is present!

Such thoughts sow hope and breed perseverance.  In the face of what looks impossible they connect us to the creative and redemptive power of a God who loves everything He has made and says it is good - even when it is behaving badly.  The death and resurrection of His Son make it possible for God to move with power to bring change.  This knowledge sets a new measure of His heart in us and we are able to love more in even the most difficult of circumstances.  Surely this is a glorious statement into the heavenlies and to the powers and authorities He intends should see His power displayed in this way through HIS Church.

In the light of this the question can never be of power, wealth, fame, or recognition.  No it is about people, or as our Maori friends would say "te tangata, te tangata, te tangata".  I cannot become rich while my brother or sister wastes away in brokenness and poverty.  I cannot accept recognition when my brothers and sisters are marginalised and overlooked.  What use is worldly power when it cannot change these lives and circumstances?

The changes that need to come cannot be brought about by the legal process, they will only happen through an outpouring of love and grace, the outworking of that Word and Breath that brought each of us to be.  Recognised in each other, this joins us to our Creator and to one another.

May the Word that He breathed carry each and every one of us to the fulfillment of all and everything He intended as He opened His mouth to speak.

The Tension between the Two!

Today I find myself once again wrestling with the tension between the prayerful and practical parts of my life.  I am sure others do this also, and maybe it reflects the ongoing tension that exists in this world of ours, in the 'church', in the outworking of The Life that is continuing to grow and find expression through our lives.

The picture I have in front of me is of a woman with her head stuck in heaven and her feet firmly attached to the earth, and this ongoing desire to comfortably marry the two so that existence can be a little less tense!  It feels as if there has to be some place in the middle where the two can meet and co-exist in a manageable manner.

Even as I write that, I suspect that it will never be possible and that there is a picture here of something that needs to exist to give expression to the place we stand in, a place that will only alter when Jesus Himself comes to rule and reign.

I love to sit in His presence, to spend hours in contemplation and prayer, to be in this world and, for a little time, not really of it at all.  Then out of that time there is a love set in my heart that overflows and has to find its outlet; that feels the pain, sees the brokenness, and needs to somehow engage it.

Somehow this does bring about a meeting place - where I can experience great joy as I see that His love is enough as it touches a life for a moment, as a circumstance changes, as hope is released where it previously did not exist,  This meeting, however, is momentary and not sufficient to sustain for any length of time.

Back into the hidden place I run, heart empty and open to be filled and owned again, soul in pain, spirit crying out for more of what compelled me outward in the first place.

This tension is like a wheel that constantly turns.  Yes, there is a kind of rhythm in its turning, and yes it holds me to something greater than myself as I turn, and yet there are moments when I want it all to stop.

Are we engaged without knowing it in some kind of intercession by this very life we live, and in these very battles we fight within and without?  I hear the calls to prayer - they bellow at me over the Internet - and yet most of the time it seems that this daily working out of life itself, in the context I find it, is the prayer, and it is all I can manage.  There is nothing left over for formal prayer meetings or lots of words. 

This silent struggle is ongoing, 24 hours a day, every day, and brings with it moments of hope and moments of despair, moments of joy and moments of pain - a constant movement through a range of thoughts, emotions, feelings. It provokes an ongoing conversation with the only One who can answer my questions.

The sustaining force behind it all is the hub on which the wheel turns.  The One who is The Answer.  The One who loves more than I ever can.  The One who paid such a huge price to make the impossible possible.  Truly in the midst of all this Jesus remains always the same.  The Lord's presence constant and assuring.  It is His peace that breaks through the tension and takes hold of my heart again to hold is secure and move me forward into the next hour, and the one after that.  He alone defuses the tension and makes sense of it all.

The Father Image

In the absence of earthly fathers, or in the midst of their dysfunction, I believe we’ve tried to present a God/Father figure who fills the gap.
This gap seems huge to us, but is actually too small for HIM, so then we reduce HIM to a size we can manage.
What seems helpful is actually doing people a disfavour as we all need a very big God, just as we long for a very big functional father.
E.g. “My dad’s bigger than your dad!” This is a kid in the playground's response to someone who leans on him, but shows a basic human picture of 'dad' and how he backs us up.

We long for the perfect father that no man can ever be, and yet we already have the perfect, able, powerful, heavenly Father (who Jesus came to introduce us to) who is more than someone who cuddles and reassures us – he can fight our battles, heal our wounds, gave and continues to give us true life.  I wonder if we have been seduced by something in our comfort loving world that begins to dictate how a father should be, and is not at all what God had in mind for us?

We can be proud of HIM, depend on HIM, talk to HIM about anything at all, knowing that HE listens and loves and acts.

Our earthly fathers will only ever be a shadow and pale reflection of someone greater, but God allowed them to be those through whom He gave us life and we are always grateful to Him and them. 

The thought I just had is that just maybe, it has been a ploy of the enemy to make us focus on the absence of fathers, believing that therefore we have no figure to relate to, when in fact that is not truth, as Jesus told us that if we have seen and know him then we have seen and known the Father. 

I do think Celia Lashlie is on to something as she begins to draw the nation’s attention to the mothers.  There has been such an emphasis on absent, dysfunctional, violent fathers, yet while everyone has focused on that and getting their kids out of harm’s way, the mothers have been lost in the middle and the importance of their role in the family overlooked.  “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the nation” has a basis!  Many of the strong deliverers of God’s people were also women, Mary was important, and it is interesting that in Revelation it is the woman waiting to give birth that the enemy is really after – I think we need to give attention to this image especially in this time.  We may not have had great dads but maybe we had a wonderful mother, so God in all His wisdom found a way to balance out our lives. True family is not just about fathers, but about fathers and mothers working together to raise a family that represents something heavenly. God is big enough to represent fathers, mothers and children, and to be related to by each in their own way - He knows how this works, He made them!

A lot of years ago now, in the middle of the move of God we had in The River and elsewhere, I was lying on the floor in a big hall alone as everyone else had gone to lunch, but there was so much of His presence I didn’t want to move just to eat.
In that place, quiet with my eyes closed, I saw this huge cloud filled with fire coming towards me.  As it came it constantly changed shape, and I could see that He was giving me a glimpse of the wonder of who He actually is.  It billowed and swirled and sometimes had huge arms that reached out, and then changed again to something that encompassed everything I had ever known and then some!  This is my picture of my heavenly Father – full of power, glory, fire, light, constant movement, and yet with arms that reach out to me in love – He will never fit the gap of an earthly father, but is able to become my all-in-all, my source, and I can find rest in His arms.

I hope your Dad is as big as my Dad!

The picture below is of something called a 'star nursery'!

CARRY THE DREAM

 

I am weeping today over the pain of carrying a dream, on and on and on, every so often coming near to it's fulfillment and then seeing it snatched away, often by the hands of someone with wonderful intentions but very little knowledge of the depths that have been added to it over years of holding it before the Lord in my heart. 

Each time I give it back to Him, knowing it must remain in His heart and hands, He gives it back, always having added a little more of His substance which enriches it and makes it even more precious ...... and of course even more painful the next time it is trampled!

The cross at the top of the page hangs on my wall.  It is encrusted with both everyday objects and others that are more precious.  You can look at it for a long time, constantly finding new treasures.

I guess that is what God is doing; adding, changing, enriching, and the only way to the final outcome is the cross.  That place of beauty and death that we embrace because Jesus embraced it first and showed us the way through.

Recently I was reading an article by T. Austin-Sparks about Jesus speaking to the disciples before beginning his final journey to the cross.  His wonderful words are a constant source of comfort and also of inspiration ... "I will build my Church" ... it remains with Him to do what He paid such a great price to accomplish - heaven help any man or woman who would think they can touch this and put their stamp on it, or profit from it.

As I read I was struck again by Jesus' statement, knowing that He was standing looking at what was before Him, and then even further out at what stood on the other side of the cross.  It is probably the most powerful prophetic statement of all time!

Who and what did He look at with such powerful longing and desire, that it made the terrible path to and through the cross possible.  Can we believe truly that it was you and I He made that journey for?  Once again I am rendered speechless by such love, and also by the knowledge that each of us rises again from death to stand in the life He has purchased for us.  As He looks at us and says "Mine" that same power that raised Jesus, and you and I, is released to pour out into all those precious people and dreams we hold before Him in our hearts.

Let's keep carrying the dreams, letting Him add to them the silver and gold that result from being refined again, and again, and again... so that ultimately everything shines with the light and glory that only He can impart, and He can wrap His loving arms around ..."My Church" .

REWARD OR REVIVAL?

Recently I've been reading the story of Gideon again in Judges 8.  What was accomplished through Gideon makes outstanding reading, and it seemed to me we could get caught up in the wonder of what God did and miss the important aspects that are about Gideon's humanity which is just like ours!

Gideon wasn't too good on blind faith, he wanted to see something to prove God was in this before he took the big step!  However, God in all His greatness and grace, went along with Gideon and helped him to be part of what had already been accomplished in God's heart and purpose.

Most will know the battle story .. nothing short of spectacular, and accomplished with such a small band of warriors, hand picked for the job. When the battle was over, and Gideon was going back home, the true test came, and it even looks like he passed the test!  The people wanted to make him their ruler, but he wisely said no and reminded them that the Lord alone would rule over them.

Then comes the point that leapt off the page at me.  Having got it all right so far, suddenly Gideon asks for some of the gold from the enemy as a reward.  He takes it home, turns it into a golden ephod (priestly garment), and everyone bows down and worships it.  We are told in a little short sentence at the end of the story that this became a snare for Gideon and his family.  Gideon didn't let the people raise him up as a ruler, but instead put something that looked spiritual before them (priestly even!) and that was his mistake.  The victory was in fact God's and all the worship and gratitude belonged to him.

Here's my point.  We live in a society that is totally geared towards success and achievement, and there are definitely expected rewards for both.  In fact, if I am not paid what I think is a right reward for the effort I give, then I pack up and move on to somewhere I am appreciated more!  (Or, as we've witnessed lately on TV, we call in the unions to come and shout at the problem with us.)

On the other hand, God's kingdom sees it a little differently, and He will even put us in places we are not appreciated at all, but will be accomplishing EXACTLY what He had in mind, something that will not be a temporary reward but counts for all eternity.  If we leave because we do not feel appreciated or rewarded, then we have aborted that possibility.
So, we need to constantly remind ourselves that we do not need to reward ourselves for what God has done for us.  God can bless us anywhere, anytime He wants to.  When Gideon took the gold it really symbolises that he took some of the glory that belongs to God alone.

As many cry out and look for God to bring revival to nations suffering and dying, we need to remind ourselves that there will be no reward for our crying out ... it will come as we enter into a different mindset that gives everything to God, rather than constantly demanding from Him, or looking for reward rather than leaving Him the freedom to bless. 

Great men in the past really got this principle, and I love the prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola, it rings true in my heart and spirit:

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous:

Teach me to serve you as you deserve; to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labour and not to ask for any reward, save that of knowing that I do your will.

As we are able to make the Lord alone our reward, as He is, and always intended He should be, then we begin, hourly, daily, to give to Him thanks for what He has given us in that hour and day.  Strength to accomplish the tasks of the day, favour to move ahead in the areas He calls us to walk, provision, peace, comfort, compassion, love .... He is constantly pouring out of His greatness and goodness, are we grateful?

With this mindset He is assured that He has all our love and friendship, people with hearts open for Him to move in any way He desires, who will not touch and mess with what is not theirs to own.

This, I believe, opens the way for God to move through a people wholly His own and bring what He most desires into their midst.

I want to end with another prayer of St. Ignatius - are we courageous enough to pray it?

Receive Lord, all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my whole will.  You have given me all that I have, all that I am, and I surrender all to your divine will, that you dispose of me.  Give me only your love and your grace.  With this I am rich enough and I have no more to ask.

USING THE WING MIRRORS

Today I realise that I am beginning a new part of the journey which always brings us deeper into our life in Christ. There is the first visible step of a very new path, something not seen or anticipated, but nevertheless incredibly important in what the future holds.

Yesterday I came to the realisation that we are often so focused on the road directly ahead of us, or checking out things way behind, that we miss what is coming up on either side - in this way we miss the opportunity of being turned into a new path that might not be quite as obvious!

The obvious is what we know is ahead, the things we desire, and the destination we are driving towards. Behind us are also things we know very well - achievements or errors it is all known ground.

Catching what is coming up on us, out of our control, means taking our eyes of the road ahead for a minute and not looking behind. It is a loosening of our control for an instant in time and yet a very necessary part of safely reaching our destination.

In terms of relationship also, it is our ability to see the wider issues, and the things slightly out of our normal focus, that help to build good relationships and take them deeper than the surface relating that so often suffices.

This feels like a season to be very aware of the peripheral things that take a little more effort to see, and are more likely to be glimpsed when we are not so focussed on driving forward at a great pace!

What a ramble this sounds, but I cannot over-emphasise the importance I feel of allowing ourselves time and space to get a look at the wider possibilities, maybe at things that had never caught our attention before, or had been hovering at the back of our awareness and need to be given opportunity to come to the forefront of our thinking.

There are things that will always be foundational and are good and true, and yet in this season we need to understand them in a deeper and different way. Let's not be afraid of the unknown but be willing to hold everything loosely so that we might eventually hold so much more.

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied: 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'

Minnie Louise-Haskins
Desert,'God Knows'.

Serenity of Reconciliation

Over time I've had lots of thoughts, some shared on this page, of the massive importance of two verses in scripture.  They keep coming back time and again, always taking me a little deeper into their impact on our lives. The first is from Matthew 5 v 9::

  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Much of life seems to have been lessons on this verse, especially about what it means to be a peace 'maker' rather than 'keeper'. To simply 'keep the peace' often means that we constantly enable things to remain exactly the same, preventing the change that God is trying to work out around us.  Much peace keeping is born in fear and insecurity.

Romans 8:19 contains this amazing statement about the sons of God (the peacemakers we've been talking about):

The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.

Can you imagine something so amazing and important that creation is holding it's breath, eagerly awaiting and expecting the sons of God to be revealed?  This has to be something of incredible heavenly importance!

In a day when we see 'peace keeping' troops being sent into the troubled areas of our planet, the name alone indicates something vital is missing from the equation, and common sense tells us that in many instances it is a fairly futile effort.

Romans 8:14  because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Here in Romans we have an indication of the special attribute these sons (and daughters) have - something beyond the best intentions and good ideas of men, the 'wow' factor that brings change in ways that are beyond human endeavour.

It takes something more than our human wisdom and ability to accomplish peace 'making' - we need heavenly help, and the supernaturally natural leading and enabling of God's Spirit.

Galatians 3 v 26 is another verse that talks about the sons of God, and it indicates that all those who are believers in Jesus Christ are already sons of God, so we have to ask 'if this is so, why are we not seeing more action in this regard?'.

 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus,

Perhaps, as in so many areas, we have carried on trying to keep things peaceful, and even our efforts to make peace have not been by the leading of God's Spirit?

Last week I had a personal lesson in this regard.  For the last few months I have found myself constantly thinking of someone whose friendship I valued but had become disconnected from.  I kept thinking it would be good to make contact again, but kept putting it off.

Then, a situation arose where I knew it was most important to make that connection as the person needed encouragement, love and support.  I made the call (at what I found was just the right time) and a meeting was arranged.

Through the entire meeting I found myself caught in a feeling of peaceful serenity such as I have never experienced before.  I kept wondering what it was, and came away pondering this for days afterward.  As I have pondered and prayed, I have come to the conclusion that what I felt was what the Holy Spirit pours out over true reconciliation when He has led us into it - it is like being held in a bubble of the most pure peace, totally undisturbed in any way, totally free from fear, anxiety, and filled instead with the love of God.

It costs us something to make peace.  It has to be approached with prayer and a willingness to surrender to God's process.  But I now understand why creation waits for this particular manifestation - if the whole earth were bathed in this serene peace it would be a totally different world.

QUIET CONFIDENCE

Last week I reached a place where I felt the stretching in my life was almost more than I could manage, and was feeling very ragged indeed by the weekend.  I have been seeking the Lord for ‘a word’ about which direction to take for the future, needing to know which path to walk and what would please Him, even if it wasn’t exactly how I would think it ought to be!! 

Saturday night I had one of those dreams that you remember the details of clearly, but more importantly, the whole essence of the dream remains with you as if the Lord has found a way to impart something directly into your spirit in a unique way.

In the dream I made my way to a library because I was looking for ‘words’.  I picked up a book with a bright flashy cover, but it turned out to be romantic nonsense and I put it back down again.  Next I picked one up and the title was “Pau” – it was an old book, dusty blue, and well used, and I knew it was the one to take even though I could not translate the title!

I went through to another room and met a ‘friend’ – he was an olive skinned man and we sat to talk together.  He looked me directly in the eyes and said “This is VERY STRONG, like nothing you have ever known before” – I could feel this immense faithfulness, trust, confidence, strength, love, all flowing right into me.  I knew that what he had said was totally trustworthy and would be unchanging.  We left the library and went our separate ways, very happy and confident in the strength of this friendship which I knew would last forever. 

As I woke the scripture “in quietness and confidence will be your strength” was in my mind, and my spirit was filled with the strength and confidence that had been imparted in the dream.  I am very sure that it was Jesus I was talking to in the library and he gave me the words my heart was seeking.

Yesterday I found what the word ‘pau’ means, and realised that there are many who feel like that right now and need to have this same impartation from the Lord.

pau [te] hau
be exhausted, out of breath, run out of steam, worn out, tired, used up.   Ka tau mai ki ngā kura reo, e pau ana te hau, ka hoki atu e hikohiko katoa ana te ngākau (HM 4/2008 wh3).I arrived at the language learning gathering worn out and when I returned home I was enthusiastic. See also kua pau [te] hau.
pau
(stative) be consumed, exhausted, used up, finished, spent.   He aituā, engari kua poropititia e ētahi o ngā hīnātore, ka pau i te ahi i taua wā (HP wh6).It was a disaster but it had been prophesied by some of the wise men that it would be destroyed by fire at that time.

I find it interesting that in the current journey it was a Maori word the Lord used to describe the way I was feeling and the place that many have come to – this in itself indicates to me that He is moving in a way that is indigenous and beginning to merge the separate identities into ‘one new man’.  It is most encouraging.